Sun and Flowers and Famiy Time

Sun, Flowers, and Family Time

Bright!  Sunny!  Warm...actually Hot!  This was the backdrop of my day.  The scenery to my play.

Much of my day was lazy and slow.  I watched my husband work his muscles to the bone fixing the deck stairs and taking care of the landscaping needs.  Also, spent a lot of time watching with the kids running about in the sprinkler and having a water balloon "fight".  I would carry my books, chair, and glass of ice tea around following them from backyard to the front.  It warms my heart to see them enjoying each other and being in the sunny outdoors.

On a whim, I did finally manage to get to the local greenhouse and scoop up some perennials for the front gardens.  That felt good and I can hardly wait to get them in the ground and enjoy the color scheme (reds, yellow, and a touch of purple - thanks to the fragrant Lavender!).  The family the company of a family friend we haven't seen in several weeks!  She brings a positive vibe and wonderfully funny sense of humor.  It truly added some joy to our sunny day! 

Looking back on the day, I don't feel particularly productive but I do feel relaxed and warmed from the sun!  I feel warmed from the sight of my children playing and my husband taking such good care of our abode. 

Today I am Grateful for my whim of a day!  Our family, just the four of us, enjoying a sunny day together and having it ebb and flow so nicely.  We all got to do something we enjoyed without it being at the expense of someone else.  Not all days are like this! 

I Am Not My Past

I spend more time than I care to admit dwelling on the past and ruminating on the regrets of days gone by:  time = wasted, words = hurtful, actions = destructive.  After some thoughtful moments and researching web blogs/tidbits (www.productiveflourishing.com), I am reminded that I am not the choices I have made.  I am not the setbacks of yesterday. I am not my past!  *phew*

Today is a new day.  Tomorrow is a new year.  Each day, each moment, is a new beginning.  I am Grateful  for this chance to renew.  Renew my dreams, my focus, my energies into what my true intentions are.    Today I hope to spend some time meditating, contemplating, what I would like to see of myself in 2012.  There is always room for improvement and I am thankful for the continuous opportunity to try, try again.  

Free Will

In recent months, since my youngest has started her school (kindergarten) career, much time has been freed up.  I have spent a good amount of that time looking for work.  There has been a tug, of varied consistency and severity, from my husband to find something more stable and more financially beneficial than my current position as a substitute teacher at a local family solutions/daycare company.

I, too, have felt a tug of my own:  to return a more career oriented job.  After all, don't I want to put my years of college studies and degree to better use?  Don't I want to move up the career ladder toward my abandoned career of Speech Therapy?  There is a part of me that does.  A part of me that feels I may not be living up to my potential in terms of prestige and pride.  Am I avoiding stepping out because I am afraid of what I no longer remember or how rusty I have become (forgetting terms and pathologies of the simplest maladies)?  

Or am I simply happy where I am?  Do I simply not need more in my life right now.  My current job provides me with a fun and rewarding place to work, while allowing me to meet my personal goals of being a Present Mother.  I am home when they are home.  I am their primary care giver.  This is important to me.  I am where I want to be.  Isn't this enough?  Yes, for me it is.  If I set aside my assumptions about how other people may judge my decision as less than stellar, I feel good about my decision.  

And today's Gratitude is just this:  MY decision.  I have the free will to decide what I want to do for work and family.  With the support of my husband, family, very special friends, and, most importantly, my (practiced for years and finally getting there) ability to listen to my heart and go with my instincts, I know where I want to be and am o.k. with it.  I feel empowered by this.  And its a great feeling!

Ripples and a Bobber

Our family had the pleasure of spending a weekend at camp recently.  At one point, I was fishing FOR Grace who could not be bothered to sit and wait for her bobber to bob, especially when she had lobster left on her dinner plate!  I sat with book in lap and, initially, went through the motions of fishing for the sake of...well, not really sure why I bothered to step in.  At some point I put the book aside and made another cast.  The hook, crowded with kernals of corn, and the bobber fell a good distance away with my attentive cast.  I made the purposeful choice to watch...wait...and it turned into meditate.  It was surprisingly peaceful.  A purposeful activity of centering.  A soulful sit on the stairs to the water, waiting for the bobber to bob.  I watched for the ripples of the little fish nibbling her veggie below.  I may have even missed a few fish as I just let the ripples flow - which should have been my cue to jig and hook that bass.  I was grateful in that moment.  Grateful for the opportunity to sit, clear my mind, and watch the ripples and the bobber.

The Art of Letter Writing

I love writing letters.  I also love receiving them but the unfortunate truth is that Letter Writing is a lost art.  I continue to stay committed to this personal and intimate way of connecting with loved ones far and near.  My only intention is to bring a nugget of joy and love to the life of the receiver.  If I am to acquire a response, all the more surprising and uplifting.

Earlier this week, I spent a good part of a day cleaning/organizing our house.  We can be a bit cluttery (my own special word for us!) and it gets out of control in quick order.  I got to the bottom of the piles in our bedroom and was rewarded not only by the left over cleanliness but also by a wonderful find.  Saved within the stacks were letters from my Nana Ruth.  She, sadly, died of cancer May 15th of this year.  The correspondence was such a wonderful treasure to unearth from my messy life.  Her life is irreplaceable but I am so Grateful to have these letters to hold dear.  A reminder of her humor and her life and her love for me.

Summer Breeze

Today there is a light breeze in the summer air and it is so refreshing.  When the breezy goodness reaches me I feel lighter and cooler...even happier.  It takes my attention away from what I am doing, thinking, or worrying about and brings me into the moment of nature.  Centering.  Grounding.  My gratitude is for this breeze bringing me peace and happiness.

The title that came to me brought also to mind the music of my father.  When we were growing up there was always music blaring from the record player.  One of the bands my Dad used to play on the turntable was Seals & Crofts.  The 1972 song of theirs "Summer Breeze" popped into my head.  I looked up the lyrics and the "video" on youtube.  This experience brought a smile to my face as well...wonderful memories and a sweet song.  All this happiness from a breath of fresh summer air...a welcomed summer breeze!

Saltwater Morning

The smell.  The sites.  The ocean.  All in my own backyard.

I love living near the ocean.  There is something different about the air.  The salty aroma makes me want to take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment.  Like a mini-vacation.  We live just a few moments time from the water and I feel so lucky.  We used to vacation here in the Portland area and now we can enjoy it each day.  The walks on Back Bay early in the morning are one of my favorite things to do!  It a lovely way to start the day.  So in that lies my daily gratitude:  the silver lining to having to move away from my friends and Bangor community four years ago...The Sea! *deep breath*